Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
