he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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