My nipple is on Facebook.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
