Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
