It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We left the knife in your bed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize