i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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