We won't sleep together?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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