1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sext me about skeletons
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