Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
