you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
