I must be too annoying 4 u.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
