Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
being pregnant is like rehab
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
