I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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