I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
