At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
