no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
