I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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