it hurts more in the daytime
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
