Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Non-Jews are for practice
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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