The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
