i permit you to call me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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