she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
