I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Randomize
