Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
