Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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