just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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