with your own penis?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
