Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
