Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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