That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
