So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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