Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I could fuck to npr.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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