BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
