she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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