we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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