And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
