So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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