He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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