I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am one with the molecules
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
