the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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