In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just pee around me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
