Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
