After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
