shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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