So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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