when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
