I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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