thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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