you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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