Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize