Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
