He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
