i barfeds in our rink
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
