Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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