Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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