I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish you could order shots online.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
