Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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