I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
