it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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