Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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