Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
