I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
