You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
