k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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