its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
