I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
