Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
